James S. Graner


Is Working All The time Making You Grumpy?

I see many Mortgage and Real Estate Professionals always "Self marketing" and looking for their next deal with their social affairs. Most notably on the children's sports events. My understanding is that some larger churches have such professionals as well.

While these professions require such a work ethic, does it make people grumpy? I often wonder when I talk with an agent that is rude or short with me. Did they do anything to relax? Do they have people that they do not talk business with, just personal events, sports or family? Does their family feel loved by them?

Some people are that way whether they work all the time or not. I do not have statistics, however I think with many people there is a relation between the two.


James S. Graner
Real Estate Appraiser
ph  (636)916-4325
cell (314)277-3336
fax (636)949-2637
Website http://appraisalmo.com
Blog       http://activerain.com/jimgraner 

Comment balloon 20 commentsJames Graner • June 29 2008 01:55PM


I hate when people approach me at a social event with their "business" interests - even when they are trying not to be so obvious. It makes me think of them as desperate or greedy and not knowing their social graces. I wouldn't go to them just for that reason.I prefer a higher level of networking and respond to those who understand it.

Yes, I do think they probably are a bit more cranky-- wouldn't you if you didn't understand working smart vs. working hard? Hope others realize from your question on appropriate behavior at social events. I guess, if they don't realize it now.....

Posted by Patricia Murray (Premiere Plus Realty Co.) over 10 years ago

Hi James,

Rude and pushy people make me go the other way...quickly. Sales people that follow me around describing everything I'm looking at and telling me the price will guarantee a swift retreat on my part - and I won't come back - ever.

I think if you're always "on", it pushes people away rather than drawing them towards you - especially at children's sports events. I feel that if you must broadcast your profession at these types of events, wear a golf shirt with your company name on it, or a nice nametag, sponsor something for them and be interested in other people's lives.

I used to go to sporting events and take pictures for other moms that forgot their cameras, then I sent the picture to them (had to get that name & address, right). They appreciated it and remembered me as a nice person. I think if all you do is toot your own horn and talk only about yourself and what you do that people will leave you to your own private fan base - alone. 


Your Keep In Touch Specialist

Posted by Barb Corsa, Helping you keep in touch (SendOutCards ) over 10 years ago

I remember being in second grade back in the 60's. There was a gas station operator that had a son in my class. Whenever the weather was particularly hot, Mr. Wiles would show up at our classroom with ice cream treats for all. Simple gesture. No parents there to sell. But we all were sure to tell our folks about his generosity! My father repaid him with 30 years of business.


Posted by Jim Calabrese (DeeSign.com) over 10 years ago

It's always good business practice to be kind and patient with clients and potential clients.  I, my self, never openly talk about my business during social events unless it is brought up in conversation.  I also offer advice to consumers on how to get their credit up to par, whether they will be doing business with me in the near future or not.  You never know down the line, if someone will refer you or come back once their credit issues have been resolved.  This being said, the only way to keep from being a "cranky" business professional is to have a positive outlook and to realize that you win some and you lose some.  Being pushy is not the way, as it will push potential clients in the opposite direction.

Take care, and best of luck in your business ventures!!

Posted by Bryan King (Ascent Home Loans) over 10 years ago

I do not bring up real estate unless people ask me about it . I quickly ask them about their business so that it is a two way conversation.

Posted by Gita Bantwal, REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel (RE/MAX Centre Realtors) over 10 years ago

I think the answer is definately "Yes".  I just returned from an appraisal inspection on Sunday afternoon since the owner lived downstate and could only get away to meet me at the property today.  I was in the area yesterday but he was playing golf so today required a 4-hour round-trip drive on my Sunday.  Tomorrow morning the phone will begin ringing from the mortgage companies who enjoyed their weekend and wonder why the reports are not awaiting them on their desks Monday morning.  Had a AVM last weekend tell me they needed the report by Monday since the client counts weekends in the turn-around time.  I asked him if the clients were also in the office over the weekend.  All said, yes, tomorrow morning when the phone rings before 9 a.m., I will be grumpy.

Posted by Richard Glesser (North Country Appraisal Services) over 10 years ago

Jim Calabrese,

That ice cream was a great way to gain favor with the community. It is too bad that now we seem to go with penny pinching, instead of loyalty to good people and friends.

Posted by James Graner (Residential Services: http://appraisalmo.com) over 10 years ago


Great thinking with the pictures, and I am sure you actually enjoyed helping parents of your child's peers.

Posted by James Graner (Residential Services: http://appraisalmo.com) over 10 years ago

Every now and then I break down and make it to the local Little League games or Pop Warner football. Not having my own boys in this state I end up cheering, rather excitedly for our hometeam. Often parents ask me what child is mine and I let them know that my kids are in another state but I am a sponsor for my local club. I get a lot of positive feedback from them and we always end up talking about their kid and my own.

I'm not a sponsor with the business side as my main goal, I'm a sponsor as the club in mind, business second. Some of my best relationships have been the result of my sponsorships, and naturally this helps my business. Give back to your community and your community will sustain you.

Posted by Darrel Davis, Southern Heritage Realty (Winter Garden, Florida) over 10 years ago

Not having work makes me grumpier...worrying how I will pay the bills makes me grumpier yet...I am VERY grumpy right now... this is tough stuff...

Posted by Patrice Estess (PB APPRAISALS) over 10 years ago


Thanks for the community service. Hopefully all goes well for you!



I hope things get better for you! Most of us are hurting right now!

Posted by James Graner (Residential Services: http://appraisalmo.com) over 10 years ago

I personally am against marketing myself at every single social event, I think there is a time and place for everything and usually after casual conversation you will know wether or not to plug in a brief professional pitch....its almost like if you feel a connection with a person and they ask for your card its fine but to walk up to someone introduce yourself and then slip them a card and ask for referrals WELL thats not good....thats almost like walking in to an office unexpected and asking for an hour of someones time that you dont know

Posted by Dione Sage (Nova Home Loans) over 10 years ago

I usually didn't like it when strangers just handed me their cards at social events either. People won't refer you until they know you, like you and trust you.

I do, however, collect those business cards and enter them into my Contact Manager to send a card to. Those little cards are leads - just make sure you put where you got them from on the back. Then you can start your card " It was nice meeting you at...".

Posted by Barb Corsa, Helping you keep in touch (SendOutCards ) over 10 years ago

Great Comments,

I think some of you are making better points than what I made on this subject.


Posted by James Graner (Residential Services: http://appraisalmo.com) over 10 years ago

Not yet. I'm loving what I do and like the fact that I have the freedom to operate my business as I see fit. In my opinion, if someone is getting grumpy it's time to take a time out and do something pleasing temporarily. Have a nice evening!



Posted by Paul McFadden, Pest Control, Seattle, WA. (Paratex) over 10 years ago

James A lot of mothers and fathers missed out on their kid's sports pictures due to work schedules or camera problems, etc., so I helped out when I could. Due to an arm injury, I was just working part time back then, and sometimes even was blessed to be able stay at home with my kids when they were younger. If I had had  a digital camera and SendOutCards back then, it would have been so much easier to share what I was taking with the others. All I would have needed was their address and they would have had a 3 panel card filled with keepsake photos to put in their scrapbooks! What a great thing to find in your mailbox, huh?

I love what I'm doing now, so no grumpies here. I'm having fun.


Posted by Barb Corsa, Helping you keep in touch (SendOutCards ) over 10 years ago

I do love my job and it effects the rest of my life in a positive way.  I will often generally speak about real estate and it engages others that are interested.  Much of the time, those RE conversations have nothing to do with appraisal, maybe mortgages, home design, the economy, etc.

I can see a difference between an excited attitude and a pushy attitude.  I hope others can as well.

Sure, I'm slower than usual right now, but to me, it just means I get to take a couple more short guilt-free vacations in the summer!

Posted by Sara Goodwin, Portland, Oregon Appraiser (Ashcroft & Associates) over 10 years ago

I'M NOT GRUMPY, WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME!  Sorry I'll try to control myself.

Posted by David Slavin, CDPE, ABR, SRES Keller Williams Premier (Keller Williams Premier) over 10 years ago

I'm with you Patrice, I never like to bring up work at social events but I sure don't like being grumpy either because I can't pay my bills, ha, ha.

Posted by Tom Horn, Appraising The American Dream (Thomas Horn, Real Estate Appraiser) over 10 years ago

It is now Christmas season, I am noticing a difference already. People are getting more grumpy in this business.

Lighten up!!!


Posted by James Graner (Residential Services: http://appraisalmo.com) about 10 years ago